update

41 weeks, 4 days until your wedding date. the bridalbook.ph said... long sighhhhh! nothing has added up to my accomplish list, except that i have found a new wedding gown design, which i like very much.. an overlay, meaning, my pang ibabaw, istead of tube lng.. and i love the sweetheart design.. so sexy ;-) ohh i cant wait!!

let the countdown begins

294 days to go before my bigday..

MY glenn and i already accomplish the major details for our upcoming wedding, its only the small and few major that needs to follow up that has been left for me to do.. im thinking that 10 months is still a far cry, but inside me was panicking that it may not be enough to accomplish everything especially that im on my own to do..but of course my mother is there to help and support me and dont forget my Mommy edith that will soon to be my ninang :-)..

* church- ok na, need to submit docu on november
*marriage license- for releasing on november
*caterer- for follow up
*ivitations, due for printing on august
*photo and video- have an idea but not yet decided
*bridal car, probably will have to rent n lng
*make up- dennis, will ask for air brush
*bridal rosary-manaog (pending)
*wedding gow- *pending design so as my bridesmaid ;-)

pre Nup pics (on our Own)

our own verion of pre nup :) we wanted to have our pictures printed in our wedding invitations so we took advantage on my days off from work aqnd headed to pangansinan for some business and pleasure and one saturday while on our way to see someone we accidentally we discover the rice field in tanza Pila, laguna.. glenn and i fell in love with the color of the rice fields and the mountains behind it :-).. haha na wi-weirdohan yung mga nadaan n cars and tricykels sa amin.. and mYglenn find it so hard kasi he will put the camera on timer then after clicking it he will run to where i am posing ;-) hingal to death ang mahal ko.. but GOOd job bhe, inspite of the heat and limited time we manage to have a beautiful shot and nice way to bond.. :-)

love

its funny how my last entry went and now my new post is exactly the opposite thing that happened last year, that was full of heartache and today it was full of love.. thank you Lord for the great change.. ;-)

save the date

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haayy i feel so sad sad sad :(

i never thought this will happen, for so many years that we survived.. then all will end up like this, I'm still hoping i can forgive and just forget.. But whenever i think of it, i felt a little bit scared that you will just hurt me again, not physically but verbally..

when you were telling me things, i felt so stupid that i revolve my world around you, i base all my decisions in your convenience, i forget all about the things I should be doing then after all of that i will just hear all those words..

all along i thought its all Ok, but then again you just explore like a bomb, vomiting all the words you've been meaning to say all these weeks :'(.. i should have known, i should have ready myself :(

i promise myself na titiisin na kita and it is very hard, hard as hell.. im missing you terribly but i must do this.. i need to find myself and learn from it :(

i love you but good bye for now..

7th year aNNiversary

What a lovely surprise from my bhe.. I was speechless and soo touch! :,), It took seven years for me to received something like this.. hahaha :))

I still remember the day when I finally said YES to my bhe.. (just a recap) the night before He said that He sent me a letter, and asked me to calm down for what i was gonna read the following day, Its very intriguing and at the same time I was excited, I had that night a sleepless one. The following day I hurriedly went to school to check for my email, still sleepless and review less for my exam, i allotted my remaining 10 mins before my first class in checking my mail..

too bad i cant find the copy :( i just found this one, my reply to his email.. :) haaayyy sarap mg reminisce :) kakiligkilig :))

hi po,. eto wala lang kailangan ko kcing maghanap yung sa paper works ko kya, binasa ko n yung mail mo.. anu ba yun! magdamag n nga tyong mag-ka-txt e marami p tyong mail...ok lng masaya namn e.. well ayun last nyt! hayaan mo n yunwala nnamn cgurong magawa yung mga yun.. ewan ko b kung bakt pti cia sumasama na sa mga ganun., hay kung- cnu-cno ng nkk-impluwensya sa mokong n iyon.. sori kwentuhan p daw kita, dti kc matino yon e..nging problematic dis past few months., yun lang.. yun kinukwento lng s akin nung cousin nya.. he!! hayaan mo n iyon dati p iyon e my knya knya n kming priorities ngaun,, tpos n yung story namin!! my iba n akong bubuuing story..pero sna lang dis tym d n mag-fail,, kc ang hirap!!... hayy pasencia n po sa iyo ko n nkwento yung sama ng loob ko kagabi.. and thank you din kc nakinig k..dmo me iniwan.. thanks s concern!! buti di k p ngsswang mkinig sa akin noh.. ang drama drama ng buhay ko... katulad ng text mo knina.. nabitin k ba dun sa text kagabi.. SECRET pb??? wala lng ewan ko... ang gulo ko talaga noh.. cguro nga bcoz im learning to appreciate you more n more,. nd maybe bcoz.. next e-mail na lng po,, he,he,he! bitin ba?.. well ok namn we start as frends and became Best of Frends i think you have Proven yourself n.. well ok! we could be MORE THAN FRENDS n.. (10/2/02)but can we kip it as a secret for a while wla lang d namn me showbiz e.. basta jaz the two of us lng.. ok po!! o masaya kb? Promise not to tell anyone muna ha,...Thnks!! mis col mo ako ng tatlong beses pagnbasa mo n ito ok!!! thanks thanks.... take care always!! *jOan*

grrr

Oh my.. i havent stop myself from exploding again.. i just drop the bomb again! grr!

Hate talking to someone na parang napipilitan lng sa lahat ng mga bagay n ginagawa nya, why is it hard for me to see sincerity on someone, I always feel na they're just doing it for the sake of, just because i said so or out of debt.. HAAAYy.. i hate it!!

..dreams....

I once dream of becoming a doctor, I recently took the NMAT exam and i failed, I wont be scared to admit it because thats the fact and atleast I tried to take the first step to reach that childhood dream. It was painful at first cause of the reality that I cant be one but I know it doesnt end there I know God has other plans for me and I am wiling to wait for the right time.

Just few days ago I had a chance to be with my cousins who is a few years older than i, we had a hearty laugh and i was so happy to be with them, I never laugh that way for long..☺☺☺ Ate sha was telling about her students and while she was telling it we cant help but laugh really hard even though she hasnt finish her story yet, coz she is a natural comedienne..

They ask me why Not I Get the 18 units to become teacher.. Actually thats another option for me when i learned that I failed the Nmat exam, But I just cant decide yet at that time.. And since they convince me and I think Y not.. So yesterday i kept on looking at the internet in which school offers that course and a school just near where I live and i end up finding the UPOP.. now, I just have to inquire abouit it and tell my parents for this plan..

If I cant be a doctor then mayde I can be a teacher :)

finding myself

I must say its not working.. it is really not working.. :(

Its almost everyday that i get irritated and annoyed even on a very small things, i like details, i like stories, i like to know everything, I know it is impossible but i like to know every single thing.. oh God! what is happening to me.. Is this the result of me being traumatized on what happened before?! I cant stop thinking, I cant stop suspecting, I cant stop myself from loving you eitheir.. ARGG! x-( what have you done to me..

Maybe we shoudnt have tried again, Maybe we should have give ourselves time to think and analyze every single thing and Maybe we should learn now how to live each day without each other. But how?! Im adicted to you, I check my messenger every morning my emails my FS messages, My FB wall. ARRG x-(

Now, I have to learn to live each day without u, any of u.. I know this is hard but how can i be the same old me towards you if i didnt do this or even try. I hurt you each day, I hurt myself for making myself angry each time i talked to you, I making a whole mess in both of our lives. I make your day not liveable, i ruin each day, each night..

I will just have to this, not later but now.. So, when the day we meet again Ill be the same person you love from the very first day you laid your eyes on..

Till, we meet again.. Im off to a quest in finding myself..