hes coming home

Finally my husband is coming home again. haha, its been 7 months when he fly back to work and i miss him terribly You see, we just get married last January and it was too hard for us to go separate ways again just weeks after are wedding day, but that's life! He need to go to work for our better future.

come to think of it we should be taking it easy by now, i mean being separated. Because our situation has been like that for almost 6 years now, if my readers (as if many) could remember it is I who went abroad first and after two years when i finally decided to go home, my boyfriend then decided to look for work overseas. it wasn't that difficult because we were used to the situations of being apart, thanks to the internet we can see each other everyday spite of our distance.

enough of the look backs, hes coming home this Oct for another short vacation, i know "short vacation" only but, it is better than not seeing him again. hope this time God will bless us with a baby.. Good luck to Us ;)

coLourful New Year

x-mas with the Laron's

escape to Davao

family outing

Last sat nyt, I treated the whole family to an overnyt swimming.. the price is not funny but nevertheless its worth it, I saw in the face of the little angels their hapiness and the joy it brought them..

.. and i enjoyed it myself too

england

7 more days to go and I will be heading home for good. Honestly I dont know exactly how will i feel about it maybe it wil be a mixed emotions. I will be sad cause I will be leaving the life i am living for almost 3 years (oh how time quickly flies noh?) and happy that I will go home and spend the rest of being single with my parents. I knew its not sooner but to the fact that one day I will get married and start my own family.

My life here was very simple, fun, sad and full of surprises. Actually I have learned a lot in here, I discovered what can I do and what I cant, I gain an understanding of what life in store for me away from home, and I uncover the real me. The whole experience is very humbling. I have learned to value what I have, always be respectful with others especially the elders and became unassuming.

Im always thankful and always be with all the people who helped me with everything to get over with each day and to whom who stand by me after I fall and rise again. I have my own short comings whom I am sorry, and to whom i cause trouble or to whom I have been the cause of any headache (i hope none!). I always see to it that I please evryone as much as I can whatever it takes to which is not possible but I made sure that I say my apology or be downhearted for whatever I cause.

Life is short and I thank God that my path cross in this part of the world and to whomever I touch lives and to the peole who touch mine. This place together with all my friends and loveones will always have a spot in my heart and always be a part of who I am now. I will always be grateful to everyone and I will always remember the experience, the love, the friendship, the fun and everything YOU brought to my life.

reality bites

My flight going home is booked already. It was 1 month ahead as I planned. I wanted to stick with my original plan but I dont know if my back would bear it any longer. So for more or less seven weeks to go my England adventure will finish. I'd like to let it finished that i am still complete and healthy rather than going home with asistance, as you know what I mean.

My mother decided last night that i better go home the soonest time as possible. I know I got her worried last night but I couldnt think of anyone else who will sympathize deeply with my agony. I was really in extreme pain that i couldnt explain how im feeling. I was scared as well that i would end up paralyze and not able to accomplish all my dreams.

I have to give all this up to stay healthy and be with my family. Goodbyes are difficult to say rather than saying hello. Its hard but i need to move on. I'll be back to zero, new environment, new friendship and new adventure..

hapy b-day ois!

My baby just turned 11 today! o how time quickly flies, dati karga karga ko lng yan and tinuturuan ng kaartehan, ngaun aba nagdadalaga na!

miss you my darling.. ill see you soon!

inang..

My Grandmother from my father side, passed away yesterday at 4:30pm at our family house in Nueva Ecija. When I learned the news from my mother, I cant stop crying for about four hours. These is one of the dreadest day in my life. It is the 2nd time that I lost grandparent, and to make I wasnt home to mourn and pay respect to her. The past few days I was very agitated and kept thinking about something, because since my father's uncle died I was very scared that something will happen and I am not ready in so many ways.

I was telling my dad weeks ago, that Inang will wait for my homecoming before she will rest in peace, dad explained to me that she is really poorly and getting bad as each day passes by. I knew this will come but still it hurts. It hurts because I was hurt for my dad that she loss her mother. A mother is a mother and for me I will feel incomplete without my mother. I realize how much I Love my dad that i kept thinking how will i comfort him despite of the distance. i kept calling my mom for any update, how dad is doing and any detail for my Inangs funeral..

I remember when I was a child we visit her once a month. Pagdating ko she's not satisfied with just a mano she will embrace me tight and say "ang maganda kong apo" =) and She will be busy entertaining us and during siesta time you will find her in the neighboors chatting or sleeping in their room. The house was still made of bamboo sticks but really its was very homey. I remember before they renovate it palagi akong nalalaglag sa my kusina, since it was built since my father was a child so marupok na, so evrytime i run in the kitchen mabubutas ko ung sahig, naku gas gas nnman! My inang was there para patahanin ako.

One time its anihan ng tanim nyang kamatis sa tumana, I asked her if i could make ani din, She said go on and I will pay you Php2.50 per tiklis. Gudness! and init, nagitim n ako at lahat, hindi ko pa rin napuno ang tiklis. So i will end up na nakikiparte na lang sa mga pinsan ko. =)

When she was still strong and younger She is active sa simbahn sa mahal n araw, nagpapluto yan ng pansit at dadalhin nya sa simbahan, syempre bitbit nya kaming mgpipinsan. Actually she got a sense of humour, maloko talaga and talagang tatawa ka.. =)

Oh my God.. I miss my inang, buti n lng umuwi me last january, i still spend time with her although saglit lng but at least di ba. nung pagdating ko ng madamling araw, She's awake and I asked her if she still do remember me, sabi ko anak ni amang. haha! sabi nya "si maan" =,) yey! mnatandaan nya ako and she said "pahinging pera" he,he.. Si Inang talaga.. =)

I know she's now in good hands Of our Lord, Inang i will miss you and Im missing you now. Till we see each other again! love you.. :,(

belated happy birthday lola

My lola just turned 78 last july 21. As a tradition every year all my aunts and uncles and apo's, (except tito rick who lives in la union, me in here in England and kuya rouel in Singapore) will gather for the celabration. Its my 3rd time to miss the party and i feel so sad, but next year I promise i will be present and be the first one to greet her. I'm missing my lola much. cant weyt to hug and kulitin sya again.. =)love you much!

saya saya

Last week friday, ate Yvette and I was teasing tito boyet to treat us for a supper. but knowing tito boyet mg pag k-kurips (lol) pinasa sa akin ang panlilibre. So after work we went straight to KFC together with ate Babet and May. Anyway will be having a bucket meal so it alright for them to come. Alfred (ate yvettes husband) is on duty, yehey we will get some free hot wings! sarap! we ordered a 14 pieces chicken with 4 large side order, a 1.5 litre pepsi, 4 large fries and an ice cream. yummy! bigtime!

While having are meal, we're also having an endless kwentuhan and chickahan. But the most laughable moment was when tito Boyet is defending that whatever He cook for the resident they really liked it ganito pa yung linya nya "naku gustong gusto nga nila" (lol) whatever we said He will defend and used that line.Gudness dear! i heard it a hundred times that nyt..LOL

But mind you the most laughable moment was when ate Yvette narrate what the relatives says about tito boyet's way of cooking. gosh, napaiyak nya si tito Boyet, He doesnt care even Carlito over heard it. He should appreciate all the effort He is doing. But mind you i was really laughing hard while ate Yvette was telling it. LOL

My jaw was really in pain by the time we go home, it was one of the most happiest moment ive ever had for a long time. My money was worth it for treating them napasaya nila ako ng sobra.. (lol) till next tym guys!

quick get away..

these are the random pictures of my quick get away at Luton to visit my ate noreen and her family!

in front of their house with samuel..

in bed with shenly, showing the drawing she coloured

sammy while changing his nappy

posing with kung fu panda! hi yahhh!

playtime with sam

On my second day, we tarvelled all the way to Milton keynes from luton, its quite a long journey and it made me dizzy because of the round abouts.. but its worth it, the place is nice and the most im portant i spent time with my ate and family.. (w/o shenly, she's in school kc e :( )

Its been a relaxing three days, a short vacation but a well spent.. after long years of not seeing my ate noreen, (i think the last time was 2004) i finally got the time to visit her and her family at luton..they were now renting their own place but soon will moved out to share the roof with her friend ate stella and family. haayy i had so much fun with her bunso "sam", bungisnigis and laging nahabol sa mami nya but mind you the first time i held him, he didnt made any sound and didnt even got scared or anything hehe, maybe he sensed that im a relative.. :) haayy bitin yung stay ko.. but i will definitely visit them again sooonn.. one more time before i finally go home!!

missing dadi..

Happy fathers day dadi.. i texted him yesterday early morning in the philippines, i got a reply from him "salamat. sinu po ito".. i was shocked and He even send it twice ;(.. my dad's making me furious very furious! i called him directly on my mobile and kidded.."who's holding your fon??" then He suddenly laugh "ayy ikaw pala, iba kc number mo" c",? panung iba e im still using my old number?? haaayy naku ang dadi ko confused na.. At that time his driving home to Laguna to celebrate the day with my mum and his grandchildren. haayy this is the 3rd time that i was far from him, and i miss celebrating the occasion with him, but this year i didnt forget to send him a father's day card.(yey! wat an achievement!)lol last year i forget and the first year was lost, maybe mr. postman thought theres something valuable inside it e picture ko lng un (lol) panakot nya sa daga..

my dad and I is quite close to each other there are things that i can tell to him that i couldnt tell my nanay and vice versa. we had so many fights when i was in college not because i a bad gurl but because i was looking for answer for the question that has left unanswered. before my dad wasnt complete without getting a call from him or text message. we always argue every weekend ( because i want to go home in laguna and he's not allowing me), we joke about my first bf and we share stories about my glenn and we exchange thoughts in somethings and come to a better idea.

oh how I miss my dad, he's not very showy but you can feel the sincerity in every words that comes from His mouth. but mind you my dad is good in His businees but bad when it comes t his tumana.(taniman) He wouldnt listen to us, He always follows his instinct and his heart thats why some people are taking advantage of Him..anyway, in few months time i will be hugging my dad again, share jokes, stories, laughs and anything under the sun..

happy fathers day daddy!! love you much and see you soon...

shut up!

last night i just got hurt for some reason, i prove to it that blood is thicker than water.. a relative of mine is facing a big trouble, i havent confirmed it personally, i just heard it from hearsay, the news broke last week and it has been named to me just recently, at first, its ok, i just kept quiet anyway i dont know what really happened and we're not really close, but last night when i heard a somebody talk about her its just, i wanted to tell them off, she's still a fellow filipino and we're foreigner in this country, why just dont we support her in silence and keep things to ourself.. i thought eventhough we're not close and very seldom to see each other she's still my cousin and whatever i heard still hurt me..

my little darling ois..

my aunt send me a cd of pictures, taken early this month when my baby ois (center) e sumali a sagala.. as the saying goes, time flies quicly, my little darling is now a grown up, i remember accompanying her, during her dance practice in school and fetching her after class or tidying her hair before going back to afternoon class.. haayy i miss her year 4 and 5, would you believe next year she's already graduating in elementary and ready to step in high school life then after four years e college na..my god! im missing all those moments in her life.. haaayy.. :( anyway before the year end i will finally see her again and i promise to witness her graduation rights..

isnt she pretty in her gourgeous, simple but elegant gown?! the clolour is for kids tlaga.. ganda noh.. by the way i only sound like her mama but im only he cousin and big sis.. hehe

included in the pic are (l-r) mami doring and daughter pam, mami edith, my nanay, tita glo, aj and katkat.. i miss them much.. especially katkat because she lives in la union, but i woludnt miss to visit them when i go home.. and la union is just an hour away to baguio.. o db double pleasure..

hAppy mothErs day!!

just moments ago i receive this text message form ate sally..

your mother is always with you..she's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street; shes the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; She's the cool hand in your brow when you're not well. Your mother lives inside your laughter.and She's crystallized inevry tear drop. She's the place you came from, your first home;and Shes the map you followwith every step you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can seperate you. Cheers to our mother!!

my mother and I are same different. shes very domesticated, me if i just feel like.. ( but i am now, because i need to..:D) we bothe like shopping, shes galante if she have extra, me, i dont do budgets..hehe we both like bags, like when i was in the ph, i use all her bags and my bonus it got money dagdag pamasahe, o pang candy (coins)Lol! we love to travel and go for a short break, were hard workers and Gd fearing..

we are the best of friends. were closer now and very open with each other, as i grew up She's my constant companion, i depend a lot to her, she's very doting,very sweet inside and very quite. She raise us with all her best, attend to all our needs, fight for what we are entitled for and cried inside whenever one of us get hurt.

i became closer to her when i went here in england, for the first time i will be separated with her for the longest time. i constantly phone her and her to me. i became more open to her, i tell her evrything, my problems, heart ache, failures, excitement, happiness, and evrything that i am experiencing here! she never get tired of my own stories, even how weird i can get shes patiently listening on the other end. she even sends me things i needed, shes my lifeline and my friend.

nanay, i missing you much and its only few months from now (or even weeks) and we will see each other again, i cant wait to go shopping with you and talk non-stop.. love you a lot!

Im a worker..

the other night i was thinking what will i do when i get home.. i was thinking of having my own small business, but i wont be a good manager, i better off as a worker.. i like to keep myself busy doing something rather than giving orders, do this, do that.. oh no im not the type and i dont think i would be an effective one, im very soft and sometimes id rather do it myself than ask somebody.. maybe because thats the way i was brought up, i grew without depending on anyone, if you a thing work hard for it to get it. and to tell you the feeling is awesome and you learn to treasure that thing.

some people see me as a walng alam, i mean they think that i cant do household chores or be domesticated, so one time i asked myself.. wat are they thinking of me? and panu b ako makisama? anu bang aura ko? hehe.. i just hope they know me before they judge me..
anyway, when i was a small child i was exposed with the family business, the flower shop and the tumana, my father used to plant so many vegetables and we even help during harvest time and it was so much fun. one time my grandma was harvesting tomatoes and if you fill up one tiklis, you will be paid 2.50 pesos, at that time its quite big for a child like me, and i can buy a peanut butter sandwich for that, but while i was harvesting, i get irritated and because ive been under the sun for long time and i still couldnt fill up the container, so i give up and ask for my cousin help.. so i end up having just half of the money.. LOL

i also tried harvesting calamansi, and daddy will pay P1 per kilo. o god! i almost wreck the tree and i still couldnt fill up one red bag, i just end up with 8 kilos most of the time.. lol

but with those experiences my eyes were opened in a very young age na, you give value in whatever you have in life especially the things you work hard, kc i wouldnt pay any happiness in the word if you achieve something na you know that you really give your best to get it..
and it taught me na life is not easy, the things i got from my parents e dugo at pawis ang binuhos para i can have the luxury in life.. and i taught me rin na kung di ka masipag you wont get anywhere..

dadi, is a very hardworking man and he love what his doin and the dedication to achieve something is really there, he works along his men sa tumana, so he knows whats happening and what are the things nid to be done.... maybe nakuha ko sa knya ung sipag at tyaga.. kya id better be a worker than a boss..

bbc no more..

last wednesday night duty ate mers, told me something that made me really think. While putting the residents in bed, and me wiping the bottom she suddenly said "naku mamimiss mo mg punas ng pwet". quite funny but i just answered her with a smile.

when i was alone cleaning the lounge her words cross my mind and i had a flash back when i was still starting with the job. i was barely a month here in england when i started working as "health care assistant" other refers it as a "british bum cleaning". anyway, like others i had a very memorable first day at work. ate lorna she was then 3 mos pregnant asked me together with the other new lady if we want to serve breakfast or work on the floor. i choose to work on the floor with the thought of "cleaning the floor" as in mopping, floor waxing or etc not knowing that it means assisting the residents in washing and dressing. bad choice isn'it?!(lol) i was partnered with james and we done mrs c. with her i had my first stomach punch and was thinking of quiting the job there and then (lol)

as the days and months pass i learned to cope with my new environment and started to get used with the job and earned the residents and co-workers trust. i was the youngest for three months i was everybody's bunso and little sister but june came 3 more Filipinas came and work and became good friends of mine.

i learned the work pattern and had different time shifts. i was enjoying what i am doing but sometimes it came to a point that you dont want to do the things your used to.. nakakasawa din minsan its been a routine and you want to break it by doing something. you want to try new thinks and have to decide and choose what you think is best.

now im facing a big decision in my life, and as for now im choosing to leave everything behind me, and im quite decided with the steps im going to take. i need to do this for my parents and for my future sake. i know i will miss evrything in here but i have to take a step forward and start a new. things werent be easy for me as well but as i said i have to do it now or never.

haaayy i know this is a big step but, people around me will understand and will stand by me whatever decision i made and it will be a big help and i will always be grateful. i wont forget eveyrone here in england.. anyways, theres plenty of time to catch up and do all the best we can..

soo excited!! yet...

my home coming date is moved and its two days earlier na.. yeheey!! its because i might leave a bad impression of over staying, so instead of nov 1 it will be on october 30.. haayy its exactly 6 mos from now.. umm actually its a mixed emotion e, i know now im so excited of the fact that im going home for good but on the other side of the coin i will also be very sad that for what i will left in here.. but life has to moved on, i have to make a choice and i have to think of the future, life doesnt stop in here.. maybe something better may come along.. we never know.. anyway, all i have to do now is enjoy, work, and have a good time..


but i wonder who will picked me up at the airport, nanay and dadi will be very busy because of the occasion in manila "todos los santos" haaayy anyway, kuya marlon will always be a raliable one.. im so excited n talaga..

miSsinG hOme..

last fri was my late grandad's b-day and as usual everybody is present for a small get together, and again for the 3rd time i missed the occasion..here i am in england living alone and there they are having a good time..

thats what i miss back home, the birthdays get together, small family party, outings, over nights, road trips.. i miss my aunts that always treat us for something and my little cousins whom i play with and my nieces and nephews.. aaayy but like pam said "dont worry ate lapit kn uwi" yeah right but 6 months is still six months.. 6 pay days, 24 weeks, 168 days and 4,032 hours and 241,920 minutes... still a long time.. haaayy

i miss everyone na, lifestyle, friends, family, the street, the corners.. evrything!! but anyway.. ill have to make the best out of 6 months.. so see you all in 24 weeks, 4,032 hours and 241,920 minutes..

love you all and missing you much!