LOVE is NOT enough

i give up! thats my word for the day..

its a free country and everyone is entitled for an opinion, whether it is good or bad. We can say whatever we think we need to say, and we based it on what we see and what we hear, and i wont be sorry for what ive said.

I said before that i dont want to be told nor to be pushed in what i do or think, for me i have my own choice and wat ever i chose it is because it is what i do best and it is what I think is right for me, I may sound boastful but that is me.

and because of this heated argument, I vomit the word ive bean meaning to say, months ago.. :-( i dont have any intentions of saying it outloud but you provoked me.

TIRED-" i am tired of waiting for nothing and tired of depending all my decision based on your convenience. I had it all in my hands before but I chose to throw it all and comeback cause that's what you say, thats what you wanted and that's what I think was right for us to be together soon! im tired of waiting on somebody who doesnt care what i want"

FINALLY-but I thank the situation that i finally had a chance to say it, i finally let you know what i feel, I finally let all my anger out. FINALLY..

WAY-this time i wont be the one who will asked for a sorry nor asked for us to comeback together, now its time for you to make a way.. and for me to find myself along the way. or maybe ill let this situation stay this way.

LOVE- My love for you is not enough for me to go on, i admit I am scared to face the world alone but I have to stand now and pick all my shattered pieces. I love you but I have to move on for now and decide for myself, base on what I really want and not because of what you think..

NOW_Im letting you go now, maybe one day our love will lead us back.. but for now l'll let it stay this way, i will endure all the pain it will bring..

am I SORRY?? not now maybe tomorrow.. :,(

my green theraphy

I realize a few days ago that every time I am feeling blue, i will sit in front of my plants and just simply stare at them until my loneliness is gone or the bad thing that i was feeling was already ease. I cant explain why and how but that thing work wonders for me.

I remember when Glenn and I had a fight I went out of our house and sit in front of the plants and just stay there for a few minutes, i just breathe and think a little and voila, im Ok na.

I was in college when I begun to have a passion in planting and having some flowers in our front yard, since we were living in a compound Ive only got a small space to keep them, I start my day checking on them, putting some "pataba" which was advise by the seller. :), i water them everyday and checked if some unwanted grass was beginning to bloom..:)

My day wasnt complete if I didnt seat at the front of my plants, even sa tanghaling tapat i will seat there not minding the heat of the sun. Basta I want to seat there, I will.. :)

try nyo.. theres something in the plants that make my day!

silent war

Its just a few hours away and its the birth day of our saviour Jesus Christ. But still here I am on silent war with my father, I knew deep inside me I wanted to talk to him and burried all the not so nice conversation we had. But still I cant accept that I cannot be the Person I wanted to be.
hmmmm.. maybe one of this days I will just go to him and just give him a hug or maybe tom or next year..:(

going roundabout

Evrything was final as in final!

I have submitted my resignation letter to our manager and my last day will be on the 21st of September that will be, 4 weeks from now.. oh how time quickly flies, as I am writning this, I am having a flashback in my mind, the day I came here, the smell of the winter, the evening breeze and the coldness that reminds me that im far from my family and friends and now here I am finishing everyhting.

Its hard but what can I do I have to face my personal life, kc nman instead of working back home after graduating my dad asked me to do all the things that will continue his dream. Not asking if I will be happy with the path He is choosing for me. But dont get me wrong I am happy that He had directed me in this way. Because I wouldnt be who I am now or I wouldnt have everyhting I got without Him. And he never let me take this path all alone, eventhough He was there in the Philippines He guided me in so many ways.

Four weeks from now I will be on a different direction, far from what I was used to for two years, another adventure to take and another goal to accomplish.. Im looking forward for getting back to my old life..

I am happy, very happy! ;)

the question I dont know the right answer

When somebody knew that Im going home for good they always ask me the same question, "bakit uuwi kn?". For me that is a very personal question to answer. i couldnt tell them that gusto ko nman asikasuhin ang personal kong buhay. because there are reasons that some people wouldnt understand or will fail to understand. I know I wouldnt have to please anybody for me to think for the right answer and not owe them an explanation. But I hate when somebody ask me and I just smile at them, because I myself dont know whats the real truth or maybe I just dont want to admit it. (magulo din ako noh!)

Kasi nman everytime I answer them "gusto ko lang!". They started to frown and wouldnt believe. If I said I will get maried. hmmmm I will just get frustrated for making myself believe when Im not. : (