isang tulog n lang!!

this is my last night before i go home back in the Philippines, i got mixed feelings! im excited to see everybody finally after two years, im going to embraced them again and have a good time.. as i waved good bye to our residents, i felt that a part of my heart is breaking but a part of it is smiling.. my other co-worker was so happy for me that she even cried, shes excited for my parents and for my bb, but early this day i said to myself im not gonna cry, i dont want them see me crying i dont want to feel sad..

wOrk, woRk, woRk!!

me in my nursing home uniform complete yan with badge ha!

this was taken after we built the x mas tree at the nightingale conservatory, ganda noh! sosyal tingnan yung chair hindi halatang mapanghe..LOL!..

this one with bob's birthday cake, courtesy of his mom, it was heavy thats why it needs two people to hold, pero picture muna kami, as if its ours birthday.. you can see everybody is smiling!!LOL!

after a day of work, im tired and already worn out so i had to lay down a bit in our kitchen before having my supper.. im very lazy noh, i havent taken out my jackets.. LOL!

its confirmed!!

its confirmed, my bb is bound to riyadh at the end of the month (31/1/08 to be exact), its sad but im excited for him as well, because finally he's achieving his dream and this will be a big turning point of his life.. but thank God we will see each other before he finally left the Philippines.. i wonder where we going?! c".?

anyway, GOOD LUCK GLENN, i wish you all the sucess!

what would i choose money or love?

You Would Choose Love

Money may buy a little happiness, but not the happiness of true love.You rather have a true soulmate than a private jet.And while many people may claim they would choose love too...You're one of the few who would really do it.

Would'>http://www.blogthings.com/wouldyouchooseloveormoneyquiz/">Would You Choose Love or Money?

its a gurl thing!

these three images was taken last tue when im going to school to get a holiday letter just in case the immigration ask for it when i come back after my holiday. i chose a knitted top because it was very cold and raining outside london is way colder from where i live, and as you can see in my eyes im not very well that day i got colds and flu. ever since i cut my hair short (it used to be long up to my back) every morning im always thinking how should i wear it, should i tie it or just leave it as it is after a blow dry, so what i did, i took a picture after i come up a style. LOL! ang arte ano?!

these past few months i learned that i need to give importance on how i look not just to impress anybody or somebody but loving myself and see to it that i look presentable and respectable, in my line of work we always deal with patient and their relatives, it a bit degrading job but in the long run you will learn to love it and enjoy it.. anyway, looking smart also help me to boost my confidence. but still im not into make up, just little bit of pink powder (ponds) in my cheeks and lip shiner, voila! i look ok na!!

london bridge..

ive visited the London bridge three times, i still cant resist the beauty and charm of it, everytime i was there thats the only moment that i proved to myself that im away from home.

new year at work!

HaPpy 2008!

im working at new years day, because i want to spend it with the persons i care for and the people who's been a big part of my 2 years stay.. and for some reason or another, maybe ill be missing them this year.

daddys pet

I went out today with ate may, with the main purpose of taking her out para libangin sya and to forget all her worries and problems. when we were on the train i told her that i will just buy my dad a watch in the Philippines when i come home, but she said it will be great if i get him one here (u.k). so i decided ok, ill have a look and if it happened ill like one why not.. fortunately there's this jewelry shop that sells gorgeous watches, it was a bit dear so, i had a second thoughts but i told myself, anyway, its for my father he didnt have second thought when he gave me this opportunity, His one of the big reason why i am here and im always be thankful for that, anyway back to what i am saying, i chose this one that will match my mothers watch, which i bought a month ago.that will served as my gift for their anniversary as well as thanking them, i know thats not enough but it comes from my heart.

Dadi, as we call him now because of my pamangkins, he dont want to be called lolo, he said he looks younger to be a grandpa, but thats the truth! hes still handsome and the charm is still there. and i hate it LOL! but im very ver proud of him.

I miss him terribly, i lived with him in my college days its not that he and my nanay is seperated but he mostly spend his time in manila for his flower shop which i once manage but im a looser, im not good in business, im not like him or in nueva ecija where his "calamansian" is located in the very heart of tumana. anyway thats the ime we developed are friendship, closeness, awayan and our fondness of each other, i can share a scret with him, which i cant tell my nanay and he will give me advice, but sometimes you know how stubborn the youngest child is.. LOL! but still i appreciate every lessons in life he shared..

What i love most about Him? its when were going home in laguna, when its just the two of us, he's driving and im just eating beside him, telling him anything under the sun, anything that will make him stay awake and focus, but you know im the one who fall asleep.LOL! we share the passion of selling things but as i said im not good in it, but i like doing it, maybe someday i will learn and be good at it. sabi nga "practice makes perfect" but i need to focus on developing my self confidence.

what IM thankful most? He's my DAD! need to say more??

Bt thankful for hes beautiful idea in sending me here, for some purpose or another but i can see that im here to experience life, i got bad times but i kept in mind things are happening for a good reason and im loving evry minute of it, its hard but its fun!!

ill share more of him next time..

i love you dadi youre the best man in the world.. ill see you soon stranger!! :)

Five Factor Personality Profile

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

The Five Factor Personality Test

my life, my love , my everything

Meet my boyfriend/fiance.. Mr. Glenn B. Calderon, 25, comes from a respectable family, graduate of a four year course, with a stable job, not bad salary and has a small savings just enough to finance his dream. hehe!!

Our love story is quite unusual, i can say it started when we were in high school, admit it or not both of us got a special place in each heart that just need to bloom and discover it in right time and in right place. time flies and we both got busy in each career, ive been through to a failed relationship and him in a crush crush lang, (torpe kc), when he finally got the courage to contact me, we were already on our second year in college and i just get back with my old bf, (pero kahit na, kinikilig p arin ako! lol) we text each other constantly and had burning lines of fon calls as in till 2am, wala lang tsikahn ng kahit anu.. but it got to an end, we both got busy for a year and thanks to me being makulit, i text him again and got back to our old habit and one time we got a bet that if i pass my exam he will treat me, and i won, so the next weekend he brought me to "the pooh friendship day" (hehe, pambata) and he gave me a winnie the pooh pillow (galing sa diskarte, hinui ako sa aking childish part! lol). but his not a very gentleman though he let me go home alone :(

After that, we emailed each other constantly, were not satisfied in just text or call, and you know what he only told me what he truly felt for me in an email, it was night of october first that he texted me that he sent me an email and he said something that made me nervous so the following day, i rush to scholl to check my email and found out that he told me that theres something in him.... just read his email, here it is..

**hows ur day?! sna nmn ok lng..... he!he! nkita ko n ung smiley, kc nung last tym hinhnap ko un,, nsa "greetings" ung page kya pla wla!!!
Nkkasar tlga ung prof. s psych. wla kwenta magturo, ptay lagi ung klase pg oras nya... buti p c randy pinkkinggan nung mga clasm8s nmin cia hnd buti nung exms nmin open buk... pro bwal pgnhuli k!!!!!
alm mo, d last tym i told u dat ur special hnd ko alm kung bkt... pro nw alm ko n!!!!! UR SPECIAL BEC. DER IS LOVE IN ME DAT I WANT TO SHARE W/ U......i dont expect nmn anything from u,,, at least lng u knw dat i love u .... tgal din me nag-isip if i will say dis 2u kc bka mgulohan k lng, pro i decided 2... bka po mklimutan ko pg d ko sinbi!! he!he!
hope u will nt change ur treatment 2 me, bka kc mhiya kn mgapproach skin eh, i will always be ur friend till d end.... cge po, mhba n 2, next tym n lng ulit.... nakita mo n b ung card?!?? have a nice day everyday and ingat po plgi!!!!!

and i replied...

hi po,. eto wala lang kailangan ko kcing maghanap yung sa paper works ko kya, binasa ko n yung mail mo.. anu ba yun! magdamag n nga tyong mag-ka-txt e marami p tyong mail...ok lng masaya namn e.. well ayun last nyt! hayaan mo n yunwala nnamn cgurong magawa yung mga yun.. ewan ko b kung bakt pti cia sumasama na sa mga ganun., hay kung- cnu-cno ng nkk-impluwensya sa mokong n iyon.. sori kwentuhan p daw kita, dti kc matino yon e..nging problematic dis past few months., yun lang.. yun kinukwento lng s akin nung cousin nya.. he!! hayaan mo n iyon dati p iyon e my knya knya n kming priorities ngaun,, tpos n yung story namin!! my iba n akong bubuuing story..pero sna lang dis tym d n mag-fail,, kc ang hirap!!... hayy pasencia n po sa iyo ko n nkwento yung sama ng loob ko kagabi.. and thank you din kc nakinig k..dmo me iniwan.. thanks s concern!! buti di k p ngsswang mkinig sa akin noh.. ang drama drama ng buhay ko... katulad ng text mo knina.. nabitin k ba dun sa text kagabi.. SECRET pb??? wala lng ewan ko... ang gulo ko talaga noh.. cguro nga bcoz im learning to appreciate you more n more,. nd maybe bcoz.. next e-mail na lng po,, he,he,he! bitin ba?.. well ok namn we start as frends and became Best of Frends i think you have Proven yourself n.. well ok! we could be MORE THAN FRENDS n.. (10/2/02)but can we kip it as a secret for a while wla lang d namn me showbiz e.. basta jaz the two of us lng.. ok po!! o masaya kb? Promise not to tell anyone muna ha,...Thnks!! mis col mo ako ng tatlong beses pagnbasa mo n ito ok!!! thanks thanks.... take care always!! *jOan*

OMG, kinikilig pa ako while im copying this aand reading it.. nag flash back lahat!!

Glen as my life, he always supported me whatever decisions i made, but i always ask his opinion din nman in things before i finally decide, he always forgive me if i done nauty things or just being bad at him if i want to get even hehe (bad ako no). His my inspiration in everything i do and i always consider him in every decision i make eventhough sometimes im geeting selfish, but i always remember taht glenn is not just my boyfriend but always be my best friend..

Glenn as my love and my everything he never fails to say i love you, hes the best gift i ever receive, i always had a good laugh with him, he makes me smile, cry and showed me the real meaning of love, i call him, panget, pa, mahal, bb,. eventhough were miles apart he's always there to comfort me and continue loving me..

Thank you Glenko, cant wait to be wrap in your arms again.. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!

welcome 2008, thank you 2007

Here's another recap on what happened, adeventure or misfortunes i had from last year.

Last year was pretty tough year for me, loads of challenges, heartache, trials, troubles, friendship and longingness. i need to keep on working to survive and to manage paying all my obligations, it comes every month so off sick is not an option. But still i cant believe im still here and surpass all those things and im still strong enough to face another year of my journey.

Did i achieved something last year? the most accountable was when i had my visa renewed for the secong time and propably the lastb time it will be (i hope) i spent lots of time, effort, money just to stay here but still worth it.

School? my old school has been another big problem things went wromg for them and so for us students. Circumstances become more complicated, and i wasnt much aware that they will end up bankrupt before i knew it , it was already closed, nobody's answering the phone, no letters coming from them as in nothing at all. At that time my visa is coming to an end, i was very upset and kept thingking where will i get all the papers ill be needing to renew my visa, but thanks God the our teacher came to the rescue and she arrange somebody who can help us. but in abroad, nothing comes for free. when i finally got hold with the papers i need i went to a immigration consultant just to make sure that i have somebody who can rely if something went wrong with my papers. a month after the submission i finally received a confirmation fom the IC that my visa was renewed and and another year of staying as a student is awarded with me.

Family? Early last year i move house at #15 landsdown road a temporary house while the original flat we're moving in is being renovated. before the month of march end we finally move in at #48 grosvenor road, just a 100 meters away from my tito arts house were i lived before. NOw im sharing the roof with ate babets whole family and ate may. about my new room its just like a size of an ordinary cloakroom, doesnt have much space for all my things so my wardrobe has to be put outside my door, though not bad. some of my things are under my bed and some are still in my uncles loft. but still i manage to have it look cozy, i had my bed at the left side and my telly stand at the right end corner and at the left is a small four tower drawer for my personal things and the window sills wont escape put some dolphine figurines and a plant and accentuated my floor with a winnie the pooh rug, which i bought in a charity shop.. not bad is'nt it??

Work? im still doing the same things still working as a care assistant in manor place a nd marwa.. there are times that i went off sick due to back pain and high blood pressure but the hours i worked are still exact to get through the whole month. actualy it wont show, i still gain weigth..lol! but the only problem was our old bitch manager who bullied us staff and doesnt mind if we are already having a hard time as long as her assisstants is in good condition.. regarding with the residents, this year we loose lots of them before the year ends and its very hard sometimes to admit that theyre already gone because theyre been part of our daily lives and got close with them..

Friends? i think last year we all get closer except for some, we all know that everbody got their differences and we couldnt change that just to be liked by others, but we know that when anybody is in need we're there to lend a helping hand.. just like mami mers who had a kidney transplant, we couldnt offer anything but our love and support, we offer a mass for her for her speedy recovery and visits her once in a while. but sadly befor the year ends mother nelly is in serious condition and had to go through all the painful operation and after 2 weeks of comatose she still not stable.. we're praying mother!

2007 was a tough time for me as i said earlier lots of unexpected things happened, heartaches that i caused to love ones,(but i learned lots of things about love and trust) failing to accomplish goals and being selfish at times, i push myself to the limit to work, ive worked hard but stil not enough, every month im strugling how will i budget my money in lots of things. sometimes im thinking my life is here is just a routine, not exciting anymore, im becoming stagnant and i cant see any future. Last year christmas party was a disaster, i didnt enjoy any part of it except for the picture taking. lol! that night i realized that i want to move on and u.k is not the end of my career. i believe that there is still life after here.. so i asked my mother what she think and she said whatever makes me happy she's there to support, my bro is as supportive as her but the most hapier than them?? c glenn..lol..

as for 2007 THANK YOU. i believe that making evry experience, Educational..

WECOME 2008

Last year i posted this one in my Friendster blog.
i kept reading this one wondering if 2007 made a lot of difference and pondering what steps should i take to have my 2008 the best of the best and have the break ive been waiting for..

have a look in this one and ill share you my 2007 adventure..

hello 2007, THANK YOU 2006..

the year 2006, has given me lots of memories, some are good and some are bad.Good memories give joy in my heart and made me smile everytime i think about it but the Bad ones taught me lots of lessons in life and push me to stand in my own feet.

MY FAMILY HERE:

The time i came here, i told myself that no matter what happened never give up and to always give the best shot in evrything i do, things are not easy for me to get, at first but as time pass by i learned how to play with life and deal with it in a good way. my aunt and uncle plays a big part to whom i am now and how far ive reach. their caring words, advice and rules show me the right path to follow. nanang has taken a big part in my everyday life, she does the cooking, and big thanks to her! ate sahlee is my cool friend i can talk anything with her, she really does listen to me. te babet is like a mom, before i used to confide her all my troubles from work, but we both became busy at work and havent got tym to chat. ate yvette was my big sister for a few months, we share the same room, same thought, same trousers, shampoo and even body sprays.. we depend with each other too much, thats y when she left the house to join her husband, i felt that i lost my other wing, good thing tito boyet is there to be my big bro, i thought he's not cool as he looks like, he shared with me his passion for perfume which is really cool. his one of a kind, in the sense that he sleep late and woke up early in the morning to call somebody who will cover his duty because his not feeling well, he snores loud and drink red bull if he feels weak, but inspite of that his very kind and a third father to me, he makes me feel lighter at times thank you!

MY FRIENDS:

Making friends are not easy as i think it would be, some of them may smile at us but deep inside they were criticizing you, the way you look, your hair, your body and even your smile could be criticize. i can pretend that i don't care but knowing myself,im afraid to all of those, i know i cant please everyone all i can do is to be myself its up to them to hate or love me. in a few months time at work some people showed me friendliness, but theres still a question at the back of my mind "are they true to me or just playing a game with me?" i cant avoid being too suspicious as i know i cant trust someone so easily in these world. As time pass by i proved that there are some of them that i can call friends and not a foe, then on my stay become a meaningful one. but still we cant avoid the intrigues when somebody pass a word to somebody else which is not true or not so true and then when it reach you, you will get a different story, sometimes you u cant avoid to think why they cant just mind their own business and go own with their own lives or deal with their own problems. Nevertheless im still thankful that God hand picked me Good friends whom i can share my life, love, problems, sadness, sorrows, joy and even odd ones. Thanks everyone!
to a close friend thanks for having you for sometime, you light up the world for a moment.. thanks for everything but im sorry i have to erase you in my life now..
THE WORK I DO
ate ethel is the first person who gave me trust to have the job and still now that she already moved from our home to another she still asked me to join her team, God really sent angels on earth.. thanks ate! the first time i came to work i didnt know what to expect, but i already got a background so part of me is already ready, but the problem is the language, i know how to speak the language but i dont understand what my residents we'r saying, their intonation is far different from what i used to, what i did is to listen actively with them, its hard in the beginning but im thankful that some of my colleagues are there to help and give support. my first day is a big challenge i choose to work in the floor rather than giving food to the residents, i didnt know that the lady where going to give bath is aggressive (she's dead now! blessed her), i lost grip with her hands and suddenly she gave me a punch on my tummy. "ouch" i thought i will never last with my job. i find my job enjoyable and i enjoy evry minute with my residents. But some of my co-worker was not enjoyable to be with, and some of them i know dont like me but maybe if i will show that i deserve the job maybe , maybe they will like and love me in the end. But as days, weeks, and months pass by i have proved to them myself that i deserved the job.

COLLEGE LIFE

i came here in u.k as a student, OMG i cant escape school ive been studying since i was 4 years old, im exhausted already (but come to think of it, y im not a genius then or a freak in any subject.. whew!).. i first went to guildford college to study english as a foreign language, i got a mixed emotion in going to college, i feel anxious and excited, the second time i went to college i am by myself not with my tito art anymore,. as i expected, i rode the wrong train that cause me to be late for my first class thou its fun, were united nation in are class, asians european and africans. i always got nervous because you all know im not active in class that even if i already knew the answer i still kip it to myself and rather tell it to the next person sitting with me, (weird!) fabiana galindez is my first friend in school, she showed me around, she really help me a lot.. in my first school trip she's supposed together but for some reason the trip was cancelled, faby left before march '06 end and good thing another lady come to rescue me and be my friend, its kiyomi the japanese girl, oh she's fun to be with and i can talk to her about anything, maybe because we came from neighboring country.. but wen our course come to an end we also have to say goodbye.. one of the best teacher ive got is judy hsu she's reaaly a big help with my grammar, anything with my communication skills, i liked her more for the fact that she loves filipino and treats them as family, judy offers me all the help that i need, wen i think of guildford college its always kiyomi and judy that i will remember.. thankyou guys..
2nd school, means new beginning, new set of friends and environment.. my second school is all the way to north ealing, everyone came form maritius, they are nice and quite ok to be with but not for the fact that they always talk in there language, i dont understand anything.. mr. keisho help me to renew my visa and thank God i got a 1 long year of extension. im now studying NVQ level 2 and im down for my assesment, thank God my long journey every thursday is yet to finish..

MEET THE PARENTS

my dadi came from a humble family in Nueva ecija, (for your curiosity sake he's my tito arts first cozin, my dads inang is sibling with tito arts tatay).. my dad is a very hard working man, but dis organize with his earnings.. he never learn from his past mistake in managing his business.. my dad is handsome, habulin ng chicks, chickboy din, were very close, what i miss most in him is the times were figthing, then were on silent war for a few days and siya ang hindi maka tiis.. hehe..love you dadai!! sorrry but i love him much and he to me.. i always imagine that he will cry a bucket when i get married, pero at this time ayoko pa cla iwan ng nanay ko.. i want to spend some more with them before ill start my own family.. i miss them much..
my ever loving nanay, shes one of the best cook, best mom, the patient, its her asset.. i miss her much now her looks, her care, the way we talk..if ever we are lazy to cook.. chowking time! shes one of the best, hindi marunong magalit, like me just give a little time then its over, joking time again.. very generous konting lambing lang ok n ulit.. nanay is strict at times pero in her on space but hindi rin namn e.. anu b tlaga?! basta mabait siya and galante!

FRIENDS AT WORK

oooooo ive got many friends at work now, im getting closer to them evryday and im enjoying my time.. i got a regular off to chill out with them, just to break my weekly routine.. at my night duty i got constant companion, my ate page, lorna, tess, mami merz, kuya allan.. every duty is an enjoyable one.. i got my close pal jack, wer much closr now that his married so no malice anymore.. im beginning to like some of my co-workers and still hate somebody.. you cannot please evryone so, let them..