..dreams....

I once dream of becoming a doctor, I recently took the NMAT exam and i failed, I wont be scared to admit it because thats the fact and atleast I tried to take the first step to reach that childhood dream. It was painful at first cause of the reality that I cant be one but I know it doesnt end there I know God has other plans for me and I am wiling to wait for the right time.

Just few days ago I had a chance to be with my cousins who is a few years older than i, we had a hearty laugh and i was so happy to be with them, I never laugh that way for long..☺☺☺ Ate sha was telling about her students and while she was telling it we cant help but laugh really hard even though she hasnt finish her story yet, coz she is a natural comedienne..

They ask me why Not I Get the 18 units to become teacher.. Actually thats another option for me when i learned that I failed the Nmat exam, But I just cant decide yet at that time.. And since they convince me and I think Y not.. So yesterday i kept on looking at the internet in which school offers that course and a school just near where I live and i end up finding the UPOP.. now, I just have to inquire abouit it and tell my parents for this plan..

If I cant be a doctor then mayde I can be a teacher :)

finding myself

I must say its not working.. it is really not working.. :(

Its almost everyday that i get irritated and annoyed even on a very small things, i like details, i like stories, i like to know everything, I know it is impossible but i like to know every single thing.. oh God! what is happening to me.. Is this the result of me being traumatized on what happened before?! I cant stop thinking, I cant stop suspecting, I cant stop myself from loving you eitheir.. ARGG! x-( what have you done to me..

Maybe we shoudnt have tried again, Maybe we should have give ourselves time to think and analyze every single thing and Maybe we should learn now how to live each day without each other. But how?! Im adicted to you, I check my messenger every morning my emails my FS messages, My FB wall. ARRG x-(

Now, I have to learn to live each day without u, any of u.. I know this is hard but how can i be the same old me towards you if i didnt do this or even try. I hurt you each day, I hurt myself for making myself angry each time i talked to you, I making a whole mess in both of our lives. I make your day not liveable, i ruin each day, each night..

I will just have to this, not later but now.. So, when the day we meet again Ill be the same person you love from the very first day you laid your eyes on..

Till, we meet again.. Im off to a quest in finding myself..

Angela's baptism

delayed..

My delayed New years resolution

• NO more carbonated drinks (just occasionally)
• control food intake
• try to do some excercise
• wake up early
• be concious to physical appearance, dont just look good but always look best
• always choose the best..
• think a thousand times before acting

Oh God!! I really hope I can do it.. if not 100 % , 75 % is a must!!

----------===================GOODLUCK to me================-----------------

im Too complicated

As we grow old, there are lots of things that we become aware of, like for me I got an answer to the question ive been asking for the longest time but still it doesnt end there. The results become more complicated for me : (.

When I was still in college Ive been asking myself what I really wanna do after graduation, Im I happy? Im I satisfied? or I wanna be somebody? There is always a voice behind me on evrything I dne for the past years, the voice that guide through my future, but sometimes whenever I fail I always regret that I follow that voice, but still inside me im always thankful.

When I decided to come home for good I finally set my mind on what will I do, I asked my parents If I can go back to school and pursue med, when they agreed I talk to all people concerns and they all approved for the step I will make. But then again.. Just recently I received a phone call from my uncle asking to complete my papers and somebody is willing to apply me for a work permit, inside me I wanted to go but I wanted to be a doctor and there comes my glenn asking "kailan na tyo mgpapaksal?" ahhhhhh I wanted to scream! I wanted to ask!! I wanted to......

why? why? why? when I finally knew what to do, when I finally got the answers it comes in three, now my problem is what to choose??

I want to be a doctor, but I want to get married and have children before im 30 but I also want to see the world :(

my pre-christmas photos

long tym

its been a long tym since i write something in this blog. I usually updated the other one in friendster.

Anyway, just an update, My health is in its low point, my back is in trouble. haayy basta, as this moment i feel so low, but I keep reminding myself this is just a trial that I can easily overcome. I still believe and hold to the words " Everything is happening for a reason". I dont loose my faith that I will be better in time..

one more..

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ) You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented. Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader. You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do. You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

The Three Question Personality Test

;)

You Are Pretty Happy

You generally have a happy, fulfilling life. But things could be a little better, and deep down, you know it. Maybe you need more supportive friends or a more challenging career. Something is preventing you from being totally happy. You just need to figure out what it is!

How Happy Are You, Really?

paAng Luya

What Your Feet Say About You:

You are pretty average in your expressiveness. You can express yourself well, but you don't always want to. You are a very passionate person. You are highly charged and easily inspired. You are an assertive person at times. You'll pull out all the stops to get what you want, if it's worth it. You take a while to fall in love, but once you do, you stay pretty attached to your partner. You are not afraid of anything. You are brave and courageous, even when most people would be terrified. You are intellectual and philosophical. You are more concerned with thoughts than action. You are an amazingly hard worker. You aren't spoiled and you don't mind getting your hands dirty. You are easily influenced by other people. You're quite impressionable, so you should only be around people who are a good influence.

What Do Your Feet Say About You?

halloween squash

What Your Jack-o-Lantern Says

You tend to be a goofy, optimistic person. You enjoy Halloween more than anyone else you know. This Halloween be as silly as you can - dress up as a giant version of a small object The candy you should give out: laffy taffy

http://www.blogthings.com/thejackolanternquiz/">The Jack-o-Lantern Quiz

this is true..

Your Emoticon is Cool

You're not feeling particularly up or down, just relaxed and calm. You're ready for whatever is going to happen next!

What Emoticon Best Represents You Right Now?

england

7 more days to go and I will be heading home for good. Honestly I dont know exactly how will i feel about it maybe it wil be a mixed emotions. I will be sad cause I will be leaving the life i am living for almost 3 years (oh how time quickly flies noh?) and happy that I will go home and spend the rest of being single with my parents. I knew its not sooner but to the fact that one day I will get married and start my own family.

My life here was very simple, fun, sad and full of surprises. Actually I have learned a lot in here, I discovered what can I do and what I cant, I gain an understanding of what life in store for me away from home, and I uncover the real me. The whole experience is very humbling. I have learned to value what I have, always be respectful with others especially the elders and became unassuming.

Im always thankful and always be with all the people who helped me with everything to get over with each day and to whom who stand by me after I fall and rise again. I have my own short comings whom I am sorry, and to whom i cause trouble or to whom I have been the cause of any headache (i hope none!). I always see to it that I please evryone as much as I can whatever it takes to which is not possible but I made sure that I say my apology or be downhearted for whatever I cause.

Life is short and I thank God that my path cross in this part of the world and to whomever I touch lives and to the peole who touch mine. This place together with all my friends and loveones will always have a spot in my heart and always be a part of who I am now. I will always be grateful to everyone and I will always remember the experience, the love, the friendship, the fun and everything YOU brought to my life.

last day out with friends..

This will be my last day out.. next week im heading home for good. I am quite happy with the decision i have made, I am very positive about it. I know that England is not the end of everything for me. There's a lot more chances or opportunity that awaits me, all I need is to stay positive and to keep on believing.

All I need is a month long of complete rest and for sure my back is ready to take off again and seek for another adventure. Im looking forward to it and so excited!!

going roundabout

Evrything was final as in final!

I have submitted my resignation letter to our manager and my last day will be on the 21st of September that will be, 4 weeks from now.. oh how time quickly flies, as I am writning this, I am having a flashback in my mind, the day I came here, the smell of the winter, the evening breeze and the coldness that reminds me that im far from my family and friends and now here I am finishing everyhting.

Its hard but what can I do I have to face my personal life, kc nman instead of working back home after graduating my dad asked me to do all the things that will continue his dream. Not asking if I will be happy with the path He is choosing for me. But dont get me wrong I am happy that He had directed me in this way. Because I wouldnt be who I am now or I wouldnt have everyhting I got without Him. And he never let me take this path all alone, eventhough He was there in the Philippines He guided me in so many ways.

Four weeks from now I will be on a different direction, far from what I was used to for two years, another adventure to take and another goal to accomplish.. Im looking forward for getting back to my old life..

I am happy, very happy! ;)

things to do..

My mind was pre-occupied with lots of things these past few days, ive got few more weeks left but still ive got so many things that need to be done. Mind you, it even comes in my dreams, that almost everyday i will woke up all of a sudden and started to think what are those things i needed to do. (sigh!)

I went to the bank yesterday and inquired if I can transfer my bank account to the Philippines and they said its possible and i needed to talk with one of the in charge to get things processes, so I'll come back on monday. ok! Bank: check and after the salary i will close my other bank and then advise my business manager for it. Next step will be my boxes, I must finish it next week, so i need to sort out all the kalat under my bed. I already filled up two of three boxes and yet still theres more. (parang di nauubos) and schedule a farewell party seperate for friends and family.

And still next week, I must go to the Inland revenue to file my P85. It takes time as well. (ohh I got a headache already) I should put in everything with my schedule and target to finish evrything next week. At least ive been to the bank yesterday.WAy to go !!

wanted it soon..

What Your Ideal Wedding Dress Says About You

Your Personal Style: Funky and a bit retro. You draw from a lot of inspirations, but you always look put together. Your Ideal Wedding: A simple outdoor wedding with a few close friends. Your Philosophy on Marriage: Marriage is a journey. It's not all about who you're married to. It's also about how you approach it. Your Perfect Marriage: Has lots of open communication, flexibility, and understanding. Where both people are happy to give more than get.

The Wedding Dress Test

If I wer in Beijing

i will play..

You Are Softball

While you do like competing, you like cooperating even more. You find working with a group to be much more invigorating than going solo. You are a true team player. You like contributing to the win!

What Olympic Sport Are You?

Actually I was surprise with the result of this quiz. I remember nung buhay pa yung mga lolo ko sa mother side, gustong gusto nila akong maging player ng softball. I tried a two day practice but i didnt come back. lol! My gudness, ang hirap ha, the bat was heavy and i couldnt catch the ball. The feminine side of me rules.

sikretong maliit..

39 little SecretsBe honest no matter what.

[ONE] Who were your latest 3 inbox texts from?
♦ beh,beh,beh
[TWO] Where was your default pic taken?
♦ london bridge (my favourite place)
[THREE] What's your middle name?
♦ L_r_n
[FOUR] Your current relationship status?
♦ in a relationship and soon..
[FIVE] Does your crush like you back?
♦ imposible un! he doesnt know i exist (isnt it mark rufallo)
[SIX] What is your current mood?
♦ emo..sad
[SEVEN] What's your mom's name?
♦ Lita
[EIGHT] What color shirt are you wearing?
♦ green and blue jacket
[NINE] Would you kiss the last person you kissed?
♦ naman..si gali un e..
[TEN] If you could go back in time and change something, would you?
♦ no! i am wat i am now, becoz of that
[ELEVEN] Have a crazy side?
♦ cyempre, pero bihira lumabas..=)
[TWELVE] Ever had a near death experience?
♦ nearly paralize
[THIRTEEN] What is something you do a lot?
♦ surf the net (boring ang buhay ko)
[FOURTEEN] Angry at anyone?
♦ not really, life is too short too waste on them..
[FIFTEEN] Do you wanna see somebody right Now?
♦ how i wish!
[SIXTEEN] Do you like drama?
♦ not that much! i prefer comedy with a twist of romance
[SEVENTEEN] When was the last time you cried?
♦ last week (due to extreme pain)
[EIGHTEEN] Who would you do anything for?
♦ family, bf and friends
[NINETEEN] Who is your hero?
♦ daddy
[TWENTY] What is the one thing you notice first with the opposite sex?
♦ height
[TWENTY-ONE] What's your biggest secret?
♦ i kept it burried in the past
[TWENTY-TWO] Where is your ex?
♦ dont care!
[TWENTY-THREE] Would you ever take him/her back?
♦ im happy and couldnt ask for more!ILY beh
[TWENTY-FOUR] Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
♦ if I got time..
[TWENTY-FIVE] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
♦ juice.
[TWENTY-SIX] Do you speak any other languages?
♦ a few words lng
[TWENTY-SEVEN]
Whats your favorite smell?
♦ lavander spa.
[TWENTY-EIGHT] Describe your life.
♦ i had my share of ups and downsa and im still here a survivor in my own world
[TWENTY-NINE] Have you ever kissed in the rain?
♦ yata? ulan sa luneta! ha,ha,ha!
[THIRTY] Do you like the rain?
♦ not really, nakkalungkot e.
[THIRTY-ONE] What are you thinking about right now?
♦ sept 25 and loads of things thats need to be done.
[THIRTY-TWO] What should you be doing right now?
♦ nothing.im off so relax!
[THIRTY-THREE] What is your favorite memory?
♦ early years ng rel with beh, saya nun, i didnt think n i could to such things
[THIRTY-FOUR] What are you listening to?
♦ 105.4
[THIRTY-FIVE] Who was the last person you told I love you ?
♦ si beh.
[THIRTY-SIX] Who was the last personyou yelled at?
♦ im not the type e..
[THIRTY-SEVEN] Do you act differently around the person you like?
♦ beh sagot??
[THIRTY-EIGHT] What is your natural hair color?
♦ black
[THIRT-NINE] Who was the last person to make you smile?
♦ my beh's text message!! txt txt n lng!

Firsts..

Let me share my first times here in England. (Random)

This is also my first time away from home.

UK: when I first came and we we're on the car going home my 1st ? is. Is this England? parang ghost town (lol) its because all the trees are leaves less (winter).
Phone call: lola's house (pinas)
period: I woke up 5 am int the morning and there it is.
tour around: we mistaken a building with spiky tower a church, thats why we kept on signing of the cross. =)
work: i got lost going to work, because i didnt notice how far it is from our house and i get tired of walking, so i called my aunt for the direction.
school: i jumped on the wrong train. i went southbound instead of nortbound =(
work 1st day: I choose to worked on the floor rather than feeding the residents, thinking that floor means "domestic work as in mopping. etc" =D
cry: i first shed tears at work because of a very unsupportive co-worker.
night duty: I was paired with an adaptation nurse, i didnt sleep at all, we done the kitchen work and ironing.=( paGod!
birthday: I was surprised by my aunt, she baked a cake, her sister cooked her specialty and had a little salo salo. sweet!
gift: my aunt bought me a winter jacket, nanang, gave me a blue pjamas, ate sally treat me at AM resto.
salary: I earned a £100+ for two days of work.
bag: a brown culdoroy body bag. cost £7
school: Guildford college, Guildford, Surrey. UK
out of town: Bath (its a school outing)
London: april '06 (spring time) we rode in a hop in hop off bus that will take you round the city
letter from Phil: from nanay on my birthday (jan 06)
Expensive purchase: Samsung digital Camera £114
Restaurant: Am with the sisters
House: 66 Grosvenor road
Vacation back home: Jaunuary 19, 2008 (after two years)