mataba,fat,seksik!!

NAKAKAINISSS!!!

haaaayy so sorry if i was screaming, i just cant hide my disappointment from those people who only sees your body size and not what underlines it, :(
ikw b nmn pagpasok mo pa lng sa pinto wala ng ibang sasabihin kundi mataba, mataba mataba! my god, hindi n nga pinapansin, ulit ulitin talaga, at sa lahat ng usapan kailangan ipagdiinan na mataba??!!!
o cia, cge na, kau n ang payat, tanung ko lng maganda ka ba???
wala n bang pwedeng ibng sabihin, kaya ba napakabigat ng paa ko sa pagpunta sa bahay na yun, kaya ba napaka-hirap ilapit ang sarili ko sa knila, kasi wla n cla ginawa kundi kutyain ang katawan ko :( and honestly, it was so depressing for me :( why cant they accept who i am,what my body size is and what i can do for them :( my God, is the body size the norm in accepting people in your lives :( kawawa nman kau, ur missing too much from me :(

happy 6th year anniversary mahalko!!..

yipee!! can you believe inspite of the distance and time difference we're still together not physically but the love that blossomed 6 years ago are still alive and getting stronger each passing day..

In all honesty, at first I didnt see that this relationship will last this long, we are so much different, he's so quite, im talkative, he show his love with action and me I was very vocal about it and so on.. We're opposites in so many ways but Maybe and i believed that's the reason why we get along well.

I have learned and still learning so much more with this relationship each day or week, I keep on discovering new things about him that make me wanna be with him the sooner its possible.(but impossible) This relationship also help me to discover things about myself, the things I can do and things that I should try and so on. It helps me to see life and myself in a very different aspect, different from what I used to be. I didnt changed for Him to love me more or based on what He wants but I changed to makes things work out and for the better.

My beh, keeps me going.. He never loses faith in me inspite of all the trials we've been thru, He's my strenght, my weakness and the answer to my questions. We have a share of our own ups and downs but we still prove to the world that nothing can come between our love. I have nothing to say about him but all Praises.

On our 6th year anniversary Mahalko, I can only say that you have proved me wrong for not believing in this relationship at first. I love you so much and ill see you soon.. (soooooonnnn please!)

im mad..

because somebody pinched my food...

I can be easily annoyed whenever somebody get my things without notice or telling me beforehand. Because I myself dont do that manner, I always see to it that I will tell them before taking any of their belongings.

I just came home from a night duty and only to find out that somebody eat my food without telling me.. How annoying is that??

inang..

My Grandmother from my father side, passed away yesterday at 4:30pm at our family house in Nueva Ecija. When I learned the news from my mother, I cant stop crying for about four hours. These is one of the dreadest day in my life. It is the 2nd time that I lost grandparent, and to make I wasnt home to mourn and pay respect to her. The past few days I was very agitated and kept thinking about something, because since my father's uncle died I was very scared that something will happen and I am not ready in so many ways.

I was telling my dad weeks ago, that Inang will wait for my homecoming before she will rest in peace, dad explained to me that she is really poorly and getting bad as each day passes by. I knew this will come but still it hurts. It hurts because I was hurt for my dad that she loss her mother. A mother is a mother and for me I will feel incomplete without my mother. I realize how much I Love my dad that i kept thinking how will i comfort him despite of the distance. i kept calling my mom for any update, how dad is doing and any detail for my Inangs funeral..

I remember when I was a child we visit her once a month. Pagdating ko she's not satisfied with just a mano she will embrace me tight and say "ang maganda kong apo" =) and She will be busy entertaining us and during siesta time you will find her in the neighboors chatting or sleeping in their room. The house was still made of bamboo sticks but really its was very homey. I remember before they renovate it palagi akong nalalaglag sa my kusina, since it was built since my father was a child so marupok na, so evrytime i run in the kitchen mabubutas ko ung sahig, naku gas gas nnman! My inang was there para patahanin ako.

One time its anihan ng tanim nyang kamatis sa tumana, I asked her if i could make ani din, She said go on and I will pay you Php2.50 per tiklis. Gudness! and init, nagitim n ako at lahat, hindi ko pa rin napuno ang tiklis. So i will end up na nakikiparte na lang sa mga pinsan ko. =)

When she was still strong and younger She is active sa simbahn sa mahal n araw, nagpapluto yan ng pansit at dadalhin nya sa simbahan, syempre bitbit nya kaming mgpipinsan. Actually she got a sense of humour, maloko talaga and talagang tatawa ka.. =)

Oh my God.. I miss my inang, buti n lng umuwi me last january, i still spend time with her although saglit lng but at least di ba. nung pagdating ko ng madamling araw, She's awake and I asked her if she still do remember me, sabi ko anak ni amang. haha! sabi nya "si maan" =,) yey! mnatandaan nya ako and she said "pahinging pera" he,he.. Si Inang talaga.. =)

I know she's now in good hands Of our Lord, Inang i will miss you and Im missing you now. Till we see each other again! love you.. :,(

nakakalungkot lng..

Today, i finished packing one of my three boxes. i put all the pasalubong which is long overdue, and some of the clothes n hindi ko nman n nagagamit, my gudness its already full and still i got so many clothes hidden elsewhere, my jackets (which i have lots),bags, shoes/slippers,stuff toys,dvd's and more and to think na i only got two more left haaayy, i need to buy 2 more of that palastic that can be vacuum to shrink so it will be possible for me to box all my things.

Come to think of it I only been here for nearly three years and the things i collected is to much. i know some of them are from a impulsive buying and some of them are from a "wala lang" kaya ayan they filed up and im having difficulty of packing them, anyway i got 2 more months to think of a better solution before it will be ship to Philippines.

haaayy two more weeks and im off again I will have plenty of time tidying up all of these things. sana lang magawa ko at hwag akong tamarin.. hehe :)

Life as I know it..

IF I COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT MYSELF IS.. I wish i have a talent that I could show like singing or even in arts..


YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS BUT IM NO GOOD AT..conversation.. i tend to run out of words to say and im afraid to ask question that i might offend somebody and ironing, thats why im always teasing Glen that by now He should practice doing it otherwise, He will be run after by an iron..LOL


TO WAKE MYSELF UP I.. open my bed side lamp, so i know that its already bright and need to get up.


LAST THING AT NIGHT I.. prayed and thank for the day i had, eventhough its not good as i planned or something unexpected happened.


IF I HAVE TIME TO MYSELF I.. always make sure that im reading a good book have a nice long shower and im well groomed, clean nails, hair not tied up and doing some notes..


WHEN IM FEELING DOWN I.. just tuck my self into bed or go outside and look for someone that i can talk.


MY "HAPPY PLACE" IS..my small but cozy room.


THE WORST THING YOU COULD SAY TO ME IS.. im dull and boring..(and bossy)


THE BEST THING MY PARENTS TAUGHT ME IS.."pakikisama" and looking back where you once been.. tried and tested, im not where I am now without believing that philosophy.


MY BIGGEST WEAKNESS IS..character debate, love ones.. it break my heart if i saw a love one being hurt or was hurt by someone.


MY BESTFRIENDS ARE.. my family, i can tell them anything under the sun


THE BEST DAYs OF MY LIFE WAS..being with family and love one again (jan'08) after two long years,when i came here in England and oct 02, 02 (figure it out!)


THE MOST ROMANTIC THING ANYONE HAS DONE FOR ME.. valentine candle dinner sa jollibee, lacson ave. Pooh friendship day at glorietta ('02) at lying under the star sa luneta ground.. and anything basta with glenn.

THE LAST FILM I SAW.. sex and the city.. hehe, im shocked with some scenes im not being innocent or anything but still..(lol)


THE SONG I CANT GET OUT OF MY HEAD IS.. amazing and dance with my fathe..

MY FAVOURITE RESTAURANT IS..im not very fond of eating out but Im always looking forward going to Nando's, its a portugese restaurant in Guilford.

ON MY LAST HOLIDAY.. i spent the first week with glenn, then family and on my last week i met old friends from colleges.

WHEN I WAS A CHILD I WANTED TO BE.. a nurse or a doctor, a pediatrician particularly.

IF I COULD BE ANYONE ELSE ID BE.. the Quee, cause I want to use the influence and power to help the needy all over the world.

MY BIGGEST INFLUENCE IS.. my daddy and of course my nanay.. love you both!

MY PROUDEST MOMENT IS.. actually everytime that I knew that ive done something good to others. and definitely my college graduation its every parents dream for their child.

THE SHOP I CANT WALK PAST WITHOUT BUYING ANYHTING IS.. before woolworths, i super loved their DVD bargains.

THE BOOK IM READING NOW IS.. Under the duvet by marian keys and i just finished "Can you keep a secret by sophie kinsella.. and the shoppahollic series is on the way now.. (bought it from amazon.com

i say..

yesterday somebody asked me again if im really goin home and i said yes, i knew for the fact that my friend was against it, he kept on teling me that im going to waste my opportunity, im already here and i can build my dreams here.. I knew i can, and i tried it already for almost three years but nothing happened. I dont blame this country or anyone for it., i just accept the reality that this may be not my land and my dreams are yet to fulfill in another place at the right time. I cant explain to everyone else what my heart desires, i just follow what i think is right for me and if i fell down for the second time I only have myself to blame for everything.