reality bites

My flight going home is booked already. It was 1 month ahead as I planned. I wanted to stick with my original plan but I dont know if my back would bear it any longer. So for more or less seven weeks to go my England adventure will finish. I'd like to let it finished that i am still complete and healthy rather than going home with asistance, as you know what I mean.

My mother decided last night that i better go home the soonest time as possible. I know I got her worried last night but I couldnt think of anyone else who will sympathize deeply with my agony. I was really in extreme pain that i couldnt explain how im feeling. I was scared as well that i would end up paralyze and not able to accomplish all my dreams.

I have to give all this up to stay healthy and be with my family. Goodbyes are difficult to say rather than saying hello. Its hard but i need to move on. I'll be back to zero, new environment, new friendship and new adventure..

hapy b-day ois!

My baby just turned 11 today! o how time quickly flies, dati karga karga ko lng yan and tinuturuan ng kaartehan, ngaun aba nagdadalaga na!

miss you my darling.. ill see you soon!

inang..

My Grandmother from my father side, passed away yesterday at 4:30pm at our family house in Nueva Ecija. When I learned the news from my mother, I cant stop crying for about four hours. These is one of the dreadest day in my life. It is the 2nd time that I lost grandparent, and to make I wasnt home to mourn and pay respect to her. The past few days I was very agitated and kept thinking about something, because since my father's uncle died I was very scared that something will happen and I am not ready in so many ways.

I was telling my dad weeks ago, that Inang will wait for my homecoming before she will rest in peace, dad explained to me that she is really poorly and getting bad as each day passes by. I knew this will come but still it hurts. It hurts because I was hurt for my dad that she loss her mother. A mother is a mother and for me I will feel incomplete without my mother. I realize how much I Love my dad that i kept thinking how will i comfort him despite of the distance. i kept calling my mom for any update, how dad is doing and any detail for my Inangs funeral..

I remember when I was a child we visit her once a month. Pagdating ko she's not satisfied with just a mano she will embrace me tight and say "ang maganda kong apo" =) and She will be busy entertaining us and during siesta time you will find her in the neighboors chatting or sleeping in their room. The house was still made of bamboo sticks but really its was very homey. I remember before they renovate it palagi akong nalalaglag sa my kusina, since it was built since my father was a child so marupok na, so evrytime i run in the kitchen mabubutas ko ung sahig, naku gas gas nnman! My inang was there para patahanin ako.

One time its anihan ng tanim nyang kamatis sa tumana, I asked her if i could make ani din, She said go on and I will pay you Php2.50 per tiklis. Gudness! and init, nagitim n ako at lahat, hindi ko pa rin napuno ang tiklis. So i will end up na nakikiparte na lang sa mga pinsan ko. =)

When she was still strong and younger She is active sa simbahn sa mahal n araw, nagpapluto yan ng pansit at dadalhin nya sa simbahan, syempre bitbit nya kaming mgpipinsan. Actually she got a sense of humour, maloko talaga and talagang tatawa ka.. =)

Oh my God.. I miss my inang, buti n lng umuwi me last january, i still spend time with her although saglit lng but at least di ba. nung pagdating ko ng madamling araw, She's awake and I asked her if she still do remember me, sabi ko anak ni amang. haha! sabi nya "si maan" =,) yey! mnatandaan nya ako and she said "pahinging pera" he,he.. Si Inang talaga.. =)

I know she's now in good hands Of our Lord, Inang i will miss you and Im missing you now. Till we see each other again! love you.. :,(

first impression last

You Make a Good First Impression

You probably are making a much better impression than you realize. Social situations can be a bit awkward for you at times, and you tend to over think what you say and do. If you make a social faux pas, you remember it a lot longer than anyone else does. Just relax and do your best. There are little things you can do to improve your social image. Express more of an interest in the people around you, and be a good listener. The secret of fascinating people is that they find everyone else fascinating!

What Kind of First Impression Do You Make?

I am a wife material

You Would Make a Great 1930's Wife

You've got a few retro ways, and you would make the ideal 1930's wife. At least, that's how it looks on paper. You may just be an easygoing, pleasant person. With a personality like yours, you'd be a great wife in any era!

http://www.blogthings.com/wouldyouhavebeenagoodwifeinthe1930squiz/">Would You Have Been a Good Wife in the 1930s?

sciatica

Sciatica is the term given to pain down the leg, which is caused by irritation of the main nerve into the leg, the sciatic nerve.
Rod Dunn welcomes you to the Sciatica Clinic
Looking at this website probably means that you think you may have sciatica but are not sure. What you DO know is that you literally HAVE (not are) a pain in the bum! What you want to know is what is it, what caused it but most of all how do you get rid of it!

What is Sciatica?

Technically speaking, sciatica is a symptom not a diagnosis It is a non-specific term commonly used to describe symptoms of pain radiating downward from the buttock over the posterior or lateral side of the lower limb. It is usually assumed to be caused by compression of a nerve but this is not necessarily so.

A common neurolgical cause of this pain is entrapment of the sciatic and/or posterior femoral cutaneous nerves. But the pain may be caused by trigger points in the soft tissue. This latter case is easily overlooked and requires manual palpation of the musculature associated with the hip if the pain is not to be misdiagnosed.

Background

It is often that there is sciatic nerve root entrapment, resulting in the compression of the nerve. Pain and symptoms being transmitted or referred from the low back to one of the buttocks and down the back of the leg along the pathway of the sciatic nerve. Hence the term sciatica.
The exact cause of sciatica is not fully understood but is commonly thought to involve a slipped or herniated disk. This means one of the disks, which lie between each of the vertebra in the lower back (lumbar area), has cracked and allowed some of the inner disk material to protrude out, putting pressure on the adjacent nerve root, which in this case is the sciatic nerve. The term 'lumbago' is often banded about as well which is a general term for low back pain. However, some people have been found to have a slipped disk but have no pain.

Sciatica Symptoms

Symptoms can vary from extreme pain in the low back radiating into one buttock and down the leg. Pain often increases on exertion or bending forward. Alternatively, there may only be a mild sensation in the leg or buttock. There may be numbness in the area, weakness in the leg and diminution of the reflexes. Pain may be triggered by coughing or straining and can be so severe that the lower back becomes locked in sideways bending position (scoliosis) caused by a strong contraction.

Alternatively, it may only come on when sitting or standing in a certain position. Clinical experience indicates that these certain positions are usually associated with continually holding a poor posture either at home or at work. For example, protruding the head forward peering at a computer all day or regularly lifting a baby out of the back of the car. But some or all of these symptoms are also associated with other conditions which is probably why the name is often misused as a catchall word for any pain affecting the buttocks or other parts of the leg. In this case the pain is triggered by a local trapping (trigger point) or straining of the nerve along its pathway.

the truth hurts..

I was chatting with glen earlier and told him what's the cause of my back pain and He told me its because Im too workaholic, and its final Im going home a october. What bothers me is He told me that Im working hard because Im proving something with myself which He said is not a good motivational goal.

Haaayy what does He mean kaya, I kept asking myself what He is trying to point out. But in some way it pinch my heart maybe He is right, But I hope He emphasize what He is trying to say.. but anyway Im not the type of person who accept critics that well, I tend to get hurt and get mad with the person who critisize me.

You know what is my wish?? sana i have a very long patience with other people and sana i learn how to fight and not just cry in the corner or just keep my silence forever..

always sick

Of all the people i knew, im the only one who is always sick. When I was still small, i remember, there is never a month that i wasnt visithing the doctor. its either i have colds or fever, when i was in high school, the same thing, in college, i had sinusitis, my Left knee ligaments was torn for unknown reason. Then when i was about to work, i found out that im sick and had to rest for long tym.. anu ba yan!!

and now here I am, all I need is to stay for three more months and i am suffering from this back pain (sciatica).. haayy i cant help but to pity for myself.. =(

Ate Sally and I, adventures and misadventures

DAY 1: july 22, 2008

We booked our ticket for the musical Wicked just day before everything was sorted out except for the fact that we havent got enough money for two days (poor us) LOL. So we had to borrow from ate babet and pay it back on salary day! (life saver!).

SCENE 1: At 1:34pm we're already on our way to London Victoria. At home I was trying to memorize which direction should we take from the station. but oh boy I was getting too forgetfull so in the end We got lost. We asked two person for the direction, and you wouldnt believed it, it was just at the back of the station, We just get confused with the streets.. My bag was too heavy and it was killing me..

SCENE 2: We went in and que to check in, Its the Hesperia London Victoria Hotel 2 Bridge Place. The receptionist gave us the card for the door. We we're assigned on room 221. We confidently went up and tried to open the door. We swipe, put the card a bit long, we pull the knob, swipe then swipe. Gudness! the door is not opening. are we too stupid for not to know how to use that?? we had to went down to the reception and ask for assistance. The man checked the card at the computer and went with us upstair and showed us that we should just swipe it and it will click and pull the door. but honestly the first time we did it, there's no click sound. umm Its the receptionist fault! =)

SCENE 3:We went to the nearest shops to had an early supper, just inside the train station and before, we go back to our hotel, we bought something to eat after the play, since it will run for 3 hours, we will be hungry by then time it end. After buying We went to an exit near the car park because as I saw it from our room window, It was near to the main entrance of the hotel, but to our surprise, there's no way out. When we're back to our room, I checked how did it happen and I burst into laughter, Its because, daan n pala ng train un as in railway ang labas just incase we continue taking that path! ..lol What will happen is we need to pass over the trains to get back to the hotel..hehe.. tumawid sa ibabaw ng train! =)

SCENE 4: We're getting ready for the musical, ate sally took a bath first, when she came out, she said "tell me that im stupid or a big idiot, pero ng-stock ung pantakip sa hole ng bath tub and i dont know what to do." I tried to look for somehting to press but i could find one. so I took a bath with the water at the tub. (parang baha) hehe..=)

SCENE 5: Its already 7 pm when we left our hotel room, so we're in a hurry because are ticket are still for collection. We we're almost running and my feet is a bit uncomfortable with my shoes so I was a bit left behind. Since I was still in a hurry the man who is passing gave way to me and look me from head to toe! (he,he! n-is starstruck!)LOL

belated happy birthday lola

My lola just turned 78 last july 21. As a tradition every year all my aunts and uncles and apo's, (except tito rick who lives in la union, me in here in England and kuya rouel in Singapore) will gather for the celabration. Its my 3rd time to miss the party and i feel so sad, but next year I promise i will be present and be the first one to greet her. I'm missing my lola much. cant weyt to hug and kulitin sya again.. =)love you much!

living my life

How You Life Your Life

You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. Your friends tend to be a as quirky as you are - which is saying a lot! You have one big dream in your life, and you never lose sight of it.

How Do You Live Your Life?

i'M not a girl

You Are A Woman!

Congratulations, you've made it to adulthood. You're emotionally mature, responsible, and unlikely to act out. You accept that life is hard - and do your best to keep things upbeat. This makes you the perfect girlfriend... or even wife!

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouagirlorawomanquiz/">Are You A Girl Or a Woman?

I'm like charlotte

You Are Most Like Charlotte!

You are the ultimate romantic idealist You've been hurt before, but that hasn't caused you to give up on love. If anything, your resolve to fall in love is stronger than ever. And it's this feminine optimism that men find most appealing about you. Romantic prediction: That guy you are seeing (or crushing on)? Could be very serious - if you play your cards right!

http://blogthings.com/whichsexandthecityvixenareyouquiz/">Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

my life's turning point

I was once ask, what is my life's turning point?. At that time, i couldnt find any answer to that question, because at that time there's wasnt much to tell, nothing happend to me that have changed my life and realize what i really wanted. Because before, I was just staying home, at one point I helped dad in his business ( and I proved that Im not a good business person LOL) and I stayed with my nanay to have a rest to recover from a serious illness (which i thought that will end my life. OTT).


Anyway, now I can say that being here in England was my life's biggest turning point. Here I learned to survive without my parents around, I am the captain of my ship and I am the master of my mind and i failed and stood up and survived all the things that at one time i thought I will just hide under and let things happen. I build up my confidence in some way but not all the time, I found a true friends whom I laugh and cried with, I learned to be more domesticated, I found the true me, the real me and the new me. I may change physically, emotionally, spiritually (i become closer to God) and mentally. but evrything is for my self improvement and to survive all the things around me.


I am very thankful with all these experience that one day when i look back, my tears will fall not because of I regret but because this part of my life is one of the happiest and memorable.

the air show

time out!

Your Gemstone Says...

You exude wealth and class. (Even if you're short on funds.) You carry yourself well, and you have perfect manners. You never seem desperate or trashy. You are admired for your sense of style. You treat others well. In fact, many people aspire to be like you.

http://www.blogthings.com/thegemstonetest/">The Gemstone Test

my daddy and me

Lately, I was nagging my dad about his expenses in his farm land, i kept telling him that He was just wasting his time and money with all His crop. Because in the end, instead of earning his losing more. We all knew that Philippines economy is not doing well and with the sky rocketing price of crude oil farmers now a days are becoming poorer instead of being richer.

Everytime i kept telling him just to sell some part of the land, its very wide that maintaining it would cost a lot which is not practical this days. but He will just tell me "tsaka na, pag matanda n ako" or "manghihina ako, alm mo nman n eto n lng libangan ko".. Oh dear! i really cant force him to just stay in manila and keep an eye in his long time business or rather stay in Laguna. So, what happens most of the time his Nueva Ecija, looking after his mom and his land.

enough of my dad, as i wanted to write here is about how me and dad is alike. (i just gave you a preview how He is like, so you have and idea what im telling about) I was thinking about this the other day, I was in control of my money the other months, I kept my other card with ate mer's so I wouldnt get hold of it, even if i wanted to buy some things. but recently some unexpected moments came and i coudnt help to bought a thing which i knew i shouldnt be. Oh God! i lost control and evrytime Im thinking about it I get worried and wishing its already pay day and get things back on track! gosh! i really hate what im feeling about it im thinking of what if an emergency happens? what if?? more of what if's..

Just like my dad, both of us is an impulsive buyer, just because we wanted this and that even if its not practical, we will go for it. we're both not thinking of tom, we're both thinking of today which is not good. totoo nga naman ang kasabihan noh. "ang magnanakaw galit sa kapwa magnanakaw" :) but now ive learned my lesson and promise to hold my expenditure in control. ineed to be tight! as in tight!

the London Aquarium

Eversince Ive decided to finally go home for good. I told to my self that I must visit all of London's attraction that I havent been before. But the problem is, have i got time to make it? haaayy my sked is full. Full of work and the things that need to be done and settle before i finaaly bid goodbye to my almost three years life of being away from family.. OOpps dont get me wrong I love my family here but I miss my immediate one's.

So last tue, since ate Mer's needs company to the school, I went with her, ive done a little shopping of pasalubong and We managed to spare an hour to visit the London Aquarium, I've been interested to visit this one since i saw it. but then Its either I havent got time when im in the city or I havent got a company who will share the same interest with the fishes and sharks. Thanks to Gali, she's with us so yey! we visited the place and enjoyed it..

I wonder when and where is my next destination.. haay so little time and so many place to visit!

end

Why things get harder and harder when somethings are about to end? like at work, i only got a few months remaining and things are getting difficult as it should'nt be. naakalungkot lng kasi all the people you've loved before are starting to leave one by one at the place we all once loved. Pero kagaya ko I'm leaving England for good, Its my decision to moved on and seek another adventure for me, and like them why they should remain in one place na hindi nman na sila happy db? haaayy sana lng kc naka alis n me before they all moved out noh.. anyway, its good na rin at least its not very hard for me, if its my time to leave the place. but still its very sad. :(

crazy sked!

Oh my God! my schedule is C-R-A-Z-Y as in.. last saturday I work Night duty and the following day Ill be on LD. Oh boy! Oh boy! it hurts my head thinking how will do it?? WHAT?? so i ended cancelling the early shift and instead do the late shift, which still mad, because im still on nyt duty that sunday..(im crazy) Oh my God! if you only knew how tired I was last that I nearly fell off the seat sleeping on my night duty.. LOL!

.. and this morning ate yvette came to our house to use the webcam to chat with her family back home, and mind you i didnt care how loud they was. Im dead tired and if there's a fire on going, Ill be dead on the spot! :( gosh! I wouldnt do that kind of duty again.. never again! and to proved that when I get up. She left a note saying that she left at that time and borrow some dvd and i check my mobile leaving me a 7 missed call and a voice mail, saying that they we're trap downstair, the main door accidentally locked. :) oh GOd! im dead tired!

mamimiss ko cla

If there are two person here in Aldershot whom I will miss most it would be ate Mer's and Galiye. These mother and daughter tandem has been a great part of my everyday life in here. If you couldnt find me at home try to knock on their door and you will find me there. Their house has been my third home. (of course my tito art's will always be the first and my room will be second and their cozy, homey and lovely flat will fall on the 3rd).

Ate Mer's has been so good to me ever since She got this motherly love for though she only older than me by 10 years I think?? (she's not ashamed of his age though). I am well fed in their house (thats the best past LOL) She got these menu that I really love and she always cook that for me, and if I wasnt able to come in their house she will brought it on duty so I still can eat them. Sweet eh?? :)
And this cute little mix gurl is galiye and She's my inaanak. makulit pero bibong bibo, mind you in just few months She knows how to speak Tagalog and knows how to use the language. galing noh. When she first came here she only speak turkish, a little of hebrew and arabic. o db linguist my future ang bata! hehe..

as of these early e si ate mers madrama na about me leaving in three months. But the truth is me as well is getting sad and sadder as the day pass by.. haaayy but what I can do life has to move on. England is not my land.

saya saya

Last week friday, ate Yvette and I was teasing tito boyet to treat us for a supper. but knowing tito boyet mg pag k-kurips (lol) pinasa sa akin ang panlilibre. So after work we went straight to KFC together with ate Babet and May. Anyway will be having a bucket meal so it alright for them to come. Alfred (ate yvettes husband) is on duty, yehey we will get some free hot wings! sarap! we ordered a 14 pieces chicken with 4 large side order, a 1.5 litre pepsi, 4 large fries and an ice cream. yummy! bigtime!

While having are meal, we're also having an endless kwentuhan and chickahan. But the most laughable moment was when tito Boyet is defending that whatever He cook for the resident they really liked it ganito pa yung linya nya "naku gustong gusto nga nila" (lol) whatever we said He will defend and used that line.Gudness dear! i heard it a hundred times that nyt..LOL

But mind you the most laughable moment was when ate Yvette narrate what the relatives says about tito boyet's way of cooking. gosh, napaiyak nya si tito Boyet, He doesnt care even Carlito over heard it. He should appreciate all the effort He is doing. But mind you i was really laughing hard while ate Yvette was telling it. LOL

My jaw was really in pain by the time we go home, it was one of the most happiest moment ive ever had for a long time. My money was worth it for treating them napasaya nila ako ng sobra.. (lol) till next tym guys!

He keeps me going

Another entry for my beh..

ayy naku I dont know what to do without Him..

Everyday His text messages lights up my day kahit sometimes its the same messages i get, i dont care kasi i know its true. hehe! And sometimes there are unexpected friendster message that really lifts me up, especially sometimes when I came from work i was so tired and when i opened my email i will be surprise to see that there's a message from him, it will erase all the exhaustion im feeling and draw a smile in my face. sarap ng feeling di ba.. (kinikilig)

And these days are dating place is our web cams, thanks for the technology we're able to see each other anytime of the day and any day of the week. minsan kahit wala n kaming masabi basta, makita o magtitigan n lng kami sa web cam ok na. pwede na! tangal na uli ang pagod at ang puyat.

His also my friend, bestfriend and big brother. He plays many roles in my life and if I need to confide some things with my brother He will act one. If i need friend who will not judge me, he will be one. o db sarap maging bf si beh.. madaming pakinabang..LOL

He's my inspiration and He keeps me going what ever life brings me.. He never fails to cheer me up! love youmuch beh

missin my beh

Its been 5 months now since I last saw Glenn, It was two days before His flight to KSA. it was just a simple goodbye. That day, we went for a walk, bougth goto for our breakfast and chat for a litte while. He went to teir home to take a bath and i fell asleep waiting for Him., after an hour or so He came back with his bag. He just woke me up, plant a kiss in my fore head and give me tight hug as he said goodbye and thats it. It was the last time I saw him in person. I didnt come to drop Him at the airport, as I knew it will just be difficult for both of us.

Thank god after three months in KSA He already got his own laptop so every now and then we get to see each other via web cam. and during free time or when i really really miss Him na i will call him and sometimes it will be a direct call, which means It will charge me big time! haaayy pag inlove k nga naman noh!

im coming home in three months time, naiinip n nga ako e, sometimes time seems to pass by so slow. But my beh is not so sure if He could have the same vacation month as it was a bit difficult to ask for it. but anyway I'll be staying in the Philipppines for good so I'll just be there anytime He could go for a vacation. haayy kakainip sana bukas n yun! :)

whats up?

Nothing much happened to me the last week, i have been busy working and sorting my things, im in a not so happy mood as the day pass by..

last mon (7-7-08) my tito art and boyet's father died (who happens to be my grand father, his a sister of my grandmother who is my father's mom, gets?:-) so they had to rush home the following day, (7-8-08) hinatid nmin sila sa airport and it was a heartbreaking moment. my tito boyet was a bit afraid, He cant accept that he's coming home for that kind of reason. :(

haaayy im just burrying myself sa work, for me not to feel the emptiness and sadness inside me, im missing my uncles and at the same time im being sad cause the days are quickly passing by. uuwi n me and part of me is breaking and part of me is smiling.. gulo ko noh! basta im planning to enjoy and make the most out of my remaining days!!

nakakalungkot lng..

Today, i finished packing one of my three boxes. i put all the pasalubong which is long overdue, and some of the clothes n hindi ko nman n nagagamit, my gudness its already full and still i got so many clothes hidden elsewhere, my jackets (which i have lots),bags, shoes/slippers,stuff toys,dvd's and more and to think na i only got two more left haaayy, i need to buy 2 more of that palastic that can be vacuum to shrink so it will be possible for me to box all my things.

Come to think of it I only been here for nearly three years and the things i collected is to much. i know some of them are from a impulsive buying and some of them are from a "wala lang" kaya ayan they filed up and im having difficulty of packing them, anyway i got 2 more months to think of a better solution before it will be ship to Philippines.

haaayy two more weeks and im off again I will have plenty of time tidying up all of these things. sana lang magawa ko at hwag akong tamarin.. hehe :)

national history museum

last tue 1-7-08 we took time to see the national history museum, and i found it very interesting! take a look and ill post some of dinosaurs and others pic. when i got time.